Boobs in the sun

Boobs in the sun ☀️

In between client sessions I’ve been just laying in the sun and pulling my shirt up.

Letting the sun meet my bare skin.

There’s something about the feeling of the heat and the breeze directly on this skin,

That otherwise only gets very private,
Often s*xual attention.

In doing this
I’ve noticed how so much of my body behavior,
when it’s revealed,
Whether that’s in a swimsuit, underwear, or naked,
Has been so shielded.

Even when alone
I often will hold my body in ways that I’ve learned are attractive
Or sexy
Or concealing the “flaws”
The humanness.

I don’t mean to.
I don’t want to.
But every so often,
I catch myself
Holding.
Holding it in.
Holding it together.
EVEN WHEN ALONE.

I’m slowly letting that go.
Allowing the muscles in my belly to fully soften.
She’s big when she fully relaxes, yes she is.
Letting my body slouch if it feels like it.
Letting my boobs flop around.

Just letting my body be.
Stop messing it with it.
Directing it.
Controlling it.
Contorting it.
Shaming it.
Hiding it.
Fighting it.

Woof.

I share this as my own personal observation, and learning.
But I also invite you to notice
Right now
Is your belly/tummy/womb area relaxed?
If not, why?
Could it relax?
What would that feel like?
What fears might come up?

Just some ponderings
Of the ways in which I hold patriarchy, fat phobia, and all kinds of feminine/body/human shaming things like that, in my literal cells.

Love you.

⚡️