What does it mean to "be bad"?

When we were shooting this, someone called the park ranger because *gasp* nudity.

That led to the cops coming.

And them yelling at me on loud speaker to come down there like I was a teenager in trouble.

As I was walking down the stone pathway in my robe,

Having just exited a space of total honesty,

I felt shame start to creep in.

It said, “uh oh, you’ve been a bad girl, you should be embarrassed. You’ve been disruptive to people, how could you think that was okay?”

I heard that voice, and I felt it starting to pull on me in my body.

Starting to ask me to shut down.

But then something in me said NO.

I will not be ashamed of my art, my voice, my body.

And if I’m going to get arrested for anything (good girl Jessie), it’s gonna be this.

So I walked down.

The cop lectured me.

He reprimanded me.

He told me I don’t have to agree with society, but this is the way society is.

He told me “this is a family place.”

And when I told some of my friends and family about it afterwards, a few of them asked something like, “well, imagine if you were in the park with your kid?”

So I thought about it.

If I were in this beautiful park with my hypothetical child, would I cover their eyes and call the park ranger?

Absolutely not.

I would use it as a teaching moment to talk about the body.

About the female body, and how it is seen in the world.

About art.

About following that magical voice inside of yourself.

And while I think I was more connected to the truth inside of me during this shoot than many of my other naked photoshoots, they have all been a taste of my true essence.

And I used to be ashamed of that.

Not only when I used to hate my body.

But even when I loved it.

I still thought

I’m trying too hard.

I’m being too sexy.

I’m asking for it.

I’m being promiscuous and that’s bad.

And I used to do everything I could to cover that up.

To pretend like I wasn’t trying,

I wasn’t being sexy.

But the truth is,

I was.

And I do, still sometimes.

No more pretending

That I’m not being bad.

Thank you to James Wolfe for this creation, and to Sienna for the support.

Wow.