Nothing's working anymore.

Nothing’s working anymore.

Not the doing
Not the rest

Not the discipline
Not the numbing

Not the pleasure
Not the agony

It’s all just a deviation from what IS.
And what IS isn’t letting me dodge anymore.

For the past few weeks I have felt this strange sense of emptiness

The nothingness that is left when catharsis is gone.

And it’s beautiful
Because there is genuinely nothing but truth, here with me now.

And it’s excruciating
Because there is nothing to distract me from that truth.

What is so, isn’t good or bad, it just is.
There isn’t any way to glorify it.
There isn’t any way to demonize it.
It’s just there.

In a sense
It’s boring.
Nothing to it,
But what is.

And in another sense,
It is everything.
Everything I’ve been unraveling to get to.
Everything my healing work is about.

It’s all for this.
So I can hold what IS more fully.
Know it.
Embody it.
Facilitate its translation to the world.