Emotional Contortion

The other day my friend said to me, "sometimes I feel like I'm just performing EMOTIONAL CONTORTION."

We both paused.
This term rung true and VIVID. 


Sometimes it feels like all we are doing is learning how to better fit into someone else's mold. 

Got a new relationship? How can you be more like what THEY need you to be?

Got a new job? How can you show up the way you're are expected to?

Taking a risk? Being vulnerable? Asking for help? How can you perform and pretend that it's easy, and that you are totally ok?

*BARF*

I don't know about you, but I'm tired of it. 

And the more I talk to women, in particular, the more I see how COMMON THIS REALLY IS. 

(And this is literally more common in women. Ever wonder why women are generally more physically flexible than men? It's all related.)

So, how are YOU twisting and contorting yourself to become what someone or something else needs of you?

And, is that really what you want? Is it really true for you to bend, shift, and change yourself for that thing or that person?

OR

Are you, perhaps, leaving parts of yourself behind, in order to be liked, or to be approved of, to be stable, or...?


I mean, the truth is, we ALL DO IT. 

And to some extent. We NEED to. We need to contort and shift and bend in order to get along in the world. In order to survive.

Or at least, we HAVE NEEDED TO. 
It HAS kept us safe, up until now.

BUT
There's another way. 

We can shift our understanding, and EMBODIMENT, of what "safe" is. 
We are in a vibrant, dynamic time where SAFE no longer means, "be like everyone else." 
We have the opportunity to find a layer deeper within ourselves, that isn't dependent on societal, cultural, or structural boxes. 

But we have to do the work.
We have to communicate to our bodies that we are creating a new sense of safety. 

This doesn't happen simply through language.
It happens through experience.
Through the felt-sense.


THIS is what we are doing in my online course, Breaking Up With Your Inner Good Girl. 

We are re-writing this story about what's okay within our physiology, so that, the next time an opportunity asks us to pretend, perform, or people-please, it is easy and obvious to listen to our inner voice. To listen to what's real for us, whether that fits into that box or not. 


Ladies,
NO MORE CONTORTION.

Let go of that inner perfectionist, and EMBODY YOUR FULL SELF. 

The course begins this Sunday. 
I hope you'll join me. 

Sign up here, or reply to this email if you wanna chat about it. 

I love you.

Xo,
Jessie