I'm so SICK of pretending.
I'm tired of pretending.
I often post these long shares about what I'm going through, and then you know what I do? I put a bow on it. I tie it up nicely to make sure you (and I) are not too uncomfortable with how real it is.
I make sure it ends in resolve.
In solution.
In healing.
In completion.
In positivity.
And to be honest - I'm annoyed with myself.
Because, as much as I know this is a part of our world, and this IS, in part, the truth of the healing work I do - IT IS.
I also know that LIFE DOES NOT GET TIED UP IN A BOW.
And I'm just so repulsed at the insinuation that it needs to be.
I was having a really beautiful conversation with a friend today, about how we SO OFTEN hear the stories about how some big celebrity used to live in their car, and had 10 cents in their bank account, and LOOK WHERE THEY ARE NOW!!! They got back up and they didn't give up.
Romantic.
Motivating.
Right?
Sure, but...
What about WHEN YOU LIVE IN YOUR CAR.
What about WHEN YOU ARE DOWN, and you REALLY FEEL LIKE YOU CAN'T GET UP.
What about WHEN YOU DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW IF THINGS ARE GOING TO BE OKAY, because THEY ARE SO NOT OKAY.
And now, I'm not only talking about desperate situations - but let's start there.
What about when you are REALLY DOWN AND OUT? What then?
Because the truth is, there isn't a "solve" that is going to make the down and out disappear. There actually isn't. And just romanticizing ourselves in hope doesn't help.
But then even if it's just a bad day, or a job rejection, or a shitty second date - whatever. What about in those moments?
Does it always have to end in, "but it's okay because I learned." Or "I trust the process," or "and here's how I got through it, and got back on my feet." ???
Like what iffffff being NOT OKAY was actually... OKAY.
Because here's the thing. We are always gonna go through the "down", and for the most part, we are always going to feel better at some point (some exceptions of course).
So, instead of spending every down time waiting to feel good again, what if we could just feel down? Why is that even a lesser thing?
I mean, honestly it's only seen as lesser because it's not productive. And our society values productivity over all else.
But what if unproductive, restful, and honest was OKAY? Or even...dare I say...VALUABLE?
I think we need to re-frame this.
We need to actually experience our downs.
And then share them.
Connect to each other.
Show each other that we are NOT ALONE.
Show each other that it's okay to not be okay...
And the kicker...
That if you are "not okay", you do not need to be FIXED.
You are not BROKEN.
You are not LESSER.
You are not unworthy, until you feel better.
Instead - you are WHOLE.
You are worthy of love.
You are valuable.
Yes.
Even when down.
It has been my mission for a long time to help people feel their honest feelings, and I feel like - this is simply the next step on my journey.
SO
I'm on a mission to be honest about the downs.
I'm on a mission to talk about REAL experiences, without the need to solve them, or to perfect them, or to heal them.
BUT JUST TO SHARE THEM.
AND CONNECT THROUGH THEM.
AND LOVE EACH OTHER DURING THEM.
Deal?
Join me.
My Patreon has it all.
I've got a few posts up already, and a few in the cue.
And honestly, I am writing every night, excited to share my soul with you.
Excited to share the truth of what it is to be human.
Messy.
BEAUTIFUL.
Loving.
Shitty.
Raw.
Scary.
Numbing.
I love you.
See you there.
Xo,
Jessie
*Also this photographer is SPECTACULAR. Check him out.