UN-DOING: A Virtual Retreat
You wake up in the morning.
You glance at your phone and realize you shouldn't have slept in so late.
You roll over and will yourself to get up, but you can't just yet.
20 minutes later, you find yourself in the bathroom, scrounging up some energy for the day.
You make your coffee, or tea, and sit down.
You look at your to-do list. You tell yourself all the things that you should be doing.
You get mad at yourself for already missing out on 2 hours of the day that you could have done more. You could have already worked out for god-sakes.
You check instagram, and instagram reflects that message back to you.
It tells you, "see? Everyone else is already up and being productive. Why aren't you?"
It says, "look, there are SO many FREE live yoga/fitness classes on instagram right now. Why are YOU sitting on your ass?"
It whispers, "you aren't doing enough, and you know it."
You mindlessly scroll, feeling your mind pull out of your body in numbness, so it doesn't have to feel the sharpness of the contrast: them versus you.
When you finally close your phone, you realize more time has passed and you remind yourself again, not doing enough.
You sit down at your computer to complete some of the tasks on your list.
Your body feels stiff and cold.
You kind of feel like you are not here at all.
But you begin.
Some tasks you fly through, others feel like a brick wall.
You find yourself biting the insides of your mouth, or your nails, or constantly getting up to check the fridge, or to get another drink.
As you sit, and DO and DO and DO, your body gets more and more cold. More and more stiff. So cold and stiff that it's almost like it's not there anymore.
And you keep doing.
Uuuf.
I've found myself there many times.
But I wonder, what could be possible?
How about this...
You wake up in the morning. You feel a little heavy and tired, so you happily close your eyes for 20 more minutes.
You roll to the bathroom, letting yourself be slow, and sleepy.
You put on some gentle music, and look out your window.
You make your coffee or tea, and sit somewhere peaceful as you begin to take in the day.
You have hardly noticed what time it is.
Perhaps you read, or you journal.
In fact, you do whatever your heart desires for an hour.
If and when you pick up your phone to check instagram, you sense the overwhelm that happens when you see certain posts or certain pieces, and you simply scroll past them.
You connect to the people that inspire you.
You share something you love.
You stand up.
You have a handful of things you could do: you could workout, you could respond to those emails, you could begin that project that needs some time and energy.
So you sense into your body. You lean towards physical activity and see how that feels. You lean towards being rational and direct and see how that feels. You lean into creating something new and see how that feels.
You DO the one that FEELS good.
The one that feels expansive.
The one that feels warm, and soft.
The one that feels tingly and sweet.
The one that lights you up, and has you feel complete.
And if none of them do...
You pause.
You ask yourself, do I need more rest?
You feel so deeply connected to your body, even in the nothingness.
And you listen.
And you keep listening.
...
I know we like to pretend that we cannot live a life that consists of our true hearts calling. We like to pretend that we MUST push ourselves to be something other than we are. That we must DO MORE and be hyper productive because that's what "success" means, or because that is what is seen as valuable. That we must constantly be telling ourselves what to do, and if we can't get ourselves to do it, then we are not strong enough, or not good enough.
But what if, all this noise is doing is having us override our truth? What if, all this noise is STEAMROLLING our deeper calling? So much so, that we can't even hear it? Much less actually trust it. What if we've been training ourselves to disconnect for our whole lives?
And what if, we could connect deeply, feel deeply, and live deeply?
What if we could take action in the kind of way that LIGHTS us up?
You know that feeling when you get on stage and you are so proud of what you are presenting? Or that feeling when your clients tell you how meaningful and helpful you have been, and you can really feel it's truth? Or that feeling when you are writing and you can feel your fingers just flying on the keyboard?
What if that is how action was meant to feel?
And what if it can?
...
Since this quarantine began, I have seen a huge influx of productivity.
But productive for who? Why? To do WHAT exactly?
And I have simultaneously seen a huge influx of SHAME.
Shame that says, "if I'm not doing the most, am I even important? Do I even matter?"
I believe ACTION, especially in this time, is so important. We are in a unique opportunity to re-create the world we live in, in so many ways.
But we are also in a moment of deep sorrow. Of deep loss. Of BIG threat. And that deserves our hearts.
Next week, I am hosting my first VIRTUAL RETREAT.
And it precisely about this.
It is about the un-hooking of our need to DO. Because that need is based on something that isn't holding up right now. Because that need is creating friction and conflict within us. Because that need is about living up to something, that no longer exists.
And it is about the feeling of what's REAL for YOU. Because the world needs the REAL YOU right now. Because YOU need the real you, always. And because that realness is what's going to allow your spark to lead the way.
For yourself, and for the world.
I hope you'll join me, on this embodied journey of connection, community, and creation.
See below for the details.
WHAT:
1 night, 2 day virtual retreat
WHEN:
May 8-10, 2020
Friday 7-10 pm PST
Saturday + Sunday 1-7 pm PST
WHERE:
Your home + ZOOM
WHO:
Women-identifying
WHY:
To connect deeply to yourself amidst all this instability.
To be in community: to see others and be seen (and not through social media goggles).
To un-hook yourself from the gremlin that tells you to "do more, or else."
To process the fears, sadness, and frustration of this time, in a supportive way.
To drop into the deep-seated passion and creativity within you.
To light up your desires, and create aligned action for yourself.
This "retreat" is for you to create for yourself the biggest resource you have: your truth, your higher Self, your love, your fire, your turn on, your realness.
I want us to move through this time healing, not creating more trauma.
I want us to come out of this time in new creation, not clinging to the old ways of being.
I want us to expand our capacity for holding big moments like this one, so we can fully trust ourselves in navigating what is to come.
It is because of this that I have made this experience extremely affordable and adaptable depending on your circumstance.
Join me.
I love you, dearly.
Xo,
Jessie
...
*Feel free to forward this email to anyone that may be interested. It would be a blast to do this with a friend. :)